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Showing posts from August, 2019

Why, it's John Smith from Calcutta!

It's always a joy to receive calls directly from Windows.
In case you don't know, Windows is the company that sells Microsoft. Or was it the other way around?

This is a transcript of one of their calls.

Scammer (with heavy Indian accent): Hello Sir. My name i John Smith. I'm calling from Windows.
Me (pidgin English): Uh, yes. Hällo?
Scammer: Sir, I'm calling from Windows. There is a problem with on of your computers.
Me: Ah, yes, yes. Windows? Windows are big problem.
Scammer: We have reason to believe that someone has broken into your computer.
Me: Computer? No is windows is problem.
Scammer: Yes, your Windows computer.
Me: Is big problem. You say you wash all windows. But you only wash windows on first floor.
Scammer: (Mumbles nasty things on Hindi) No, not windows. Your computer...
Me: You not wash computer. You crazy! You come and wash all windows.
Scammer: Do you have a computer, Sir?
Me: Ah, computer! Yes, you wait. You speak with computer man.

[I put the call on hold, then …

Who says dead writers can't get rich...

Initial email from 'SMITH LAW' <spoofed un.org email, originally from Yandex>
Hello myemailaddress, It is good to be in contact with you even though this medium of communication has been grossly abused by impostors and criminal minded people thereby making it difficult for people with genuine struggle to correspond and exchange views without skepticism. The United Kingdom's Treasury Department receives over £10bn every year from unclaimed estates; forgotten funds; abandoned shares and dormant accounts because beneficiaries of deceased families are not being located to lay claim to funds left in the bank. This letter is a final warning notice regarding the death of my Late client Edward,wife and only daughter while on holiday at Louisiana USA in the August 2005 Atlantic hurricane Katrina disaster. According to the laws of England and Wales, section 46 of the Administration of Estates Act of 1925 (with subsequent amendments). My late client's bank has issued me a Fina…