Who says dead writers can't get rich...

Initial email from 'SMITH LAW' <spoofed un.org email, originally from Yandex>

Hello myemailaddress,
It is good to be in contact with you even though this medium of communication has been grossly abused by impostors and criminal minded people thereby making it difficult for people with genuine struggle to correspond and exchange views without skepticism.
The United Kingdom's Treasury Department receives over £10bn every year from unclaimed estates; forgotten funds; abandoned shares and dormant accounts because beneficiaries of deceased families are not being located to lay claim to funds left in the bank.
This letter is a final warning notice regarding the death of my Late client Edward,wife and only daughter while on holiday at Louisiana USA in the August 2005 Atlantic hurricane Katrina disaster. According to the laws of England and Wales, section 46 of the Administration of Estates Act of 1925 (with subsequent amendments). My late client's bank has issued me a Final written notice to provide his next-of-kin within 7 days or have his funds declared UNCLAIMED and sent into government treasury.
I have been in charge of managing his properties here in London for a long time. There were some of his properties put out for sale before his death,for which payment has since been made. The proceeds of the sale is deposited into his local account here. I found your name in some of his documents and that is why I traced your email through an advanced search.I am contacting you because you bear the same last-name with my late client.I want to know if you are in anyway related to my late client. I await your prompt response,
Bar.Mark Smith
Principal Partner

Dear Mark Smith,
I was not aware of any relations with the name Tucholsky in the United Kingdom.
Could you send me further information?
With kindest regards,
Kurt Tucholsky

Hello Kurt Tucholsky,
Thanks for your prompt response and I would go straight to the point.I want to front you as the sole beneficiary of Edward's Estate since I've been unfortunate in locating any of my late clients relative. The Standard Chartered bank just gave me a last warning notice to get the Next of Kin of Late Edward Tucholsky or his funds US$6.9m shall be declared Unclaimed and sent into government treasury. This transaction is 100% real and does not have any criminal origin.You are qualified by your name identity and I believe it's an opportunity for us to regain everything we've lost in the past.
Late Edward was a client, friend and brother of mine in the Freemason fold. We belong to the Grand Lodge of England affiliated with the Scottish rites of Scotland, but he has unfortunately been deceased for some years now. Are you willing and ready to assist in this transaction? We shall both benefit financially.All correspondence via this private mail box.
Please find below my tel-number
+44 7553114524
Awaiting response,
Mark Smith(Attorney at Law)Principal Partner
+44 7553114524
SO15 2AE

Dear Mr. Smith,
This is indeed exciting news!I am currently on my way to the airport in order to visit a trade fair in Berlin, Germany. From there I will be travelling to our Finnish partners.
My secretary will handle incoming mails for the next two days; but do not be alarmed; I have complete confidence in her!
I do have some concerns, though:
Is this transaction really 100% legal, as I do not wish to soil my name with shady activities?
Would it be possible to transfer the funds to a different currency? With "Brexit" looming, British Pounds may not be the safest option.
With sincerest regards,
K. Tucholsky

Hello Kurt Tucholsky
Thanks for your on time response and concerns for the family and my position, seeking for your consent to stand in as the next of kin to the late Deceased Edward Tucholsky  domiciliary bank account deposit[$US6.9m] with the Standard Chartered Bank.Obviously funds could definitely be transferred to any other country where you have an account.
Note that this transaction is 100% real /risk free and does not have any criminal origin all I need from you is your consent to front you as the sole beneficiary to this funds so that the funds can be remitted into your nominated bank account.At the moment, it is imperative that you furnish me with the following information/data to enable me notify the banking authorities about my contact with you immediately.
1.    A copy of your International passport or drivers license
2.    Occupation                                                               
3.    Mobile Tel number        
I will provide you with any information you need as we proceed, bearing in mind that you have finally made up your mind to proceed for I do not want to jeopardize the success of this transaction which means so much to me at the moment. I am not a greedy fellow,I am ready to path you with %45 ,%45 for me,%5 shall be given to charity and then %5 shall be set aside for reimbursement to both parties for any expenses we shall incur during the course of this transaction. Please remember to keep this transaction highly confidential because any leakage would jeopardize the success of this transaction.
I promise you success in this transaction as I have already envisaged all our plans successful. Thank you for good understanding, I look forward to your positive response soon. [ASAP].
Bar.Mark Smith

Dear Mr. Smith,
On behalf of Mr. Tucholsky I would like to inform you that I have forwarded the required documents to the Standard Chartered Bank as instructed.
On a personal note, I would like to add that his Lordship is very unlikely to agree to a 45% / 45% split. If I know my employer correctly (and I have been in his service for more than 25 years) he will like not agree to anything less than a 75% / 25% split. I am however not at liberty to discuss these financial details in his absence.
Sincerely yours,
Sybil Fawlty
Private secretary and confidente
to Kurt Tucholsky Esq. GCB, KBE

I followed up with sending him a little reminder:

Hello Mark,
I have tried to call you from the airport but couldn't get through.
Did you get in touch with Sybil?

Hello Kurt,
Thanks for your email,my phone is working very well.Maybe it was switched off because I had meetings yesterday and was very busy.
I demanded for the under listed documents so that I can notify the paying bank about my contact with you but Sybil decided to negotiate about sharing ratio before proceeding. I have stated that we share 50% each way so that each party is happy and move on with life but I don't know what you think about it now.If you are interested and feel we can move ahead then kindly send the details so that I can quickly file in an application letter with the bank.
At the moment, it is imperative that you furnish me with the following information/data to enable me notify the banking authorities about my contact with you immediately.
1.    A copy of your International passport or drivers license
2.    Mobile Tel number
Awaiting response,
Best regards,



My apologies! Sybil was quite out of line to start financial negotiations without my consent!
I have now personally attached the required information.
However, given the sensitive nature of this information, please get in touch once you have received the file. We will then agree upon a safe way to present you with the password for the file.
Best regards and again my apologies,

Attached was an encrypted zip file containing the party manifesto of the Norwegian Senterparti. The file was conveniently named "passport.jpg"


Hello Kurt,

I have received the file and have started preparing the application letter which I will be submitting to the bank this afternoon once I get the password to your file.Note that the bank will contact you expediently once I send in the application letter because it will contain highly accurate,sensitive and classified details of Late Edward so they'll know you are aware of the funds and legal beneficiary to the funds.Do include your phone number in your next response.

I await your prompt response,

Best regards,


Dear Mark,

It's good to hear that things are moving smoothly ahead.
As I mentioned earlier, I need a proof of identity before I can send you the key to my identification papers.
Please send me a picture of yourself holding the phrase "JEG Æ KONGE".
Mark, I know that this is a major inconvenience for you, but I am really concerned that my personal details may end up in the wrong hands. I am sure you will understand.
Looking forward to your swift reply,

At this point, I did not receive any further answers from barrister Mark. I must assume that he was no longer interested in sharing US$6.9m with me.

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