Showing posts from September, 2019

From the department of ottograffy

A colleague forwarded an email from "Megajacpot" (sic!) today. Apparently, he didn't need the $5.5 millions that he had won.

Anyhow, this masterpiece of scam email was just too good to simply delete.

If you had a dollar for every questionable grammatical construction and/or otographiottografixorogrffy spelling mistake, you'd have your 5 millions as well...

Read out loud for maximum effect:

Fwd: This Email Message For This Email Address Owner Reply Back ImmediatelyAttention:  We need to say congratulate you and your family today that you are among one of our yearly winner of $5.5 Million US Dollars; your email address was selected among the two (2) lucky winners today. We have chosen your email address ( email@email.address  ) as one of the winner. These year emails address lottery pool, held in our collation centre. Please here is your Secret Winning Code: 74BDB27838 ,  You are the only winner from your country. Your email address ( email@email.address) was selected …


Two bottles of shampoo.

same brandsame pricesame sizesame quantity
Same quantity? No, the bottle on the left actually contains 10% less shampoo.

Why? I don't know for sure, but I guess Procter&Gamble think their customers are idiots.

Charm offensive (of sorts)

It's been a while since I've bought my last record, but from time to time I like to browse through the second-hand albums at our local charity shop.

Today, I found this treasure:

While it did not shout "buy me" in a conventional sense, I found this cover quite charming: the four hand knitted Norwegian jumpers; the dad reassuringly touching his son's hand; and the title that simply states "Högetveit family".

I wonder what has become of them. Are the children still making music?

Back from the dead

I (Basil Snowden) received an initial email by a lawyer promising an inheritance of a long lost relative named “Edward”. Should I really be related to that Edward Snowden? We will see…

My comments are marked yellow.
Hello Basil Snowden,

Thanks for your prompt response and I would go straight to the point.I want to front you as the sole beneficiary of Edward's Estate since I've been unfortunate in locating any of my late clients relative. The Standard Chartered bank just gave me a last warning notice to get the Next of Kin of Late Edward Snowden or his funds US$6.9m shall be declared Unclaimed and sent into government treasury. This transaction is 100% real and does not have any criminal origin.You are qualified by your name identity and I believe it's an opportunity for us to regain everything we've lost in the past.

Late Edward was a client, friend and brother of mine in the Freemason fold. We belong to the Grand Lodge of England affiliated with the Scottish rites of Scot…

Say cheese

The packaging scam has made its comeback. This time with a vengeance!

Introducing Président Rondelé. A cream cheese that delivers less than you expect. Way less, in fact:

There's the inside notch that shaves a couple of percent off the cup's volume.There are the slanted cup sides, conveniently hidden behind the paper wrapping.There's a good measure of empty space hidden under the raised bottom.
What you end up with is a package of cheese that contains a good deal of empty space.

But hey, the cheese itself ain't that great. So I'm not complaining that there's less of it!

Ella does not want money!

I must admit, I was sceptical when Ella Golan* contacted me out of the blue.

Ella is working at a bank in Israel and had somehow gotten hold of $13 million (or thereabouts, but who's counting). Because she "would not lie" she was willing to share this money with me.

Obviously, I was intrigued!

To prove her honest intentions, she sent me a picture of her passport (where she somehow had managed to forget to fill in some essential fields).

She then informed me that she was "divorced without children" and "enjoyed golfing".

She kindly shared a Hebrew proverb with me (the proverb is in fact Chinese):

Over long distance you learn about the strength of a horse and over time you learn about the character of a friend.
Since she also shared her address we me, I took the freedom to consult Google Maps, and I was appalled to find out that the Executive Vice President of a multinational Bank has to live in a shop that sells handbags...

Not only was I hesitant to l…

Bad journalism - good journalism

It's not easy catching the public's attention in an age of constant sensationalism.
We can all agree that the following headline, for example, is somewhat lackluster:

There is a chance of light rain after 4 pm
 Fortunately, we can easily turn this headline into a must-read item:

Oh my goodness! We expect 40 million liters of rain per squaremeter. Your whole house will wash into the sea, and you and your family will most likely drown. Also, click here to win a million dollars.
You see, compelling journalism is not that difficult!